Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
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