I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
