My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
