Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
