I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
