haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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