I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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