the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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