I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
