You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize