yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
