Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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