mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize