Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
