shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
