I think my vagina is haunted
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
