Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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