My cat gives me a boner
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
