Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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