so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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