So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
