Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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