summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
