You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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