I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
