Little spoons don't ask big questions
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
