throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize