If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
