Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You pole danced in your parka.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
