I could make wine with my vomit
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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