Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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