conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
