I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
