Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
