The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
