i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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