Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
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