my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
