Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
