How'd it feel making her break her religion?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
