i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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