What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
