Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
