I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
