We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She's the barista slut.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
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