Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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