i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
