D3 body, D1 cock
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Randomize