I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
