I must be too annoying 4 u.
Umm I'm too high to move.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
