Can Purell be used as lube?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
