; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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