he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
