Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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