Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
