I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
