D3 body, D1 cock
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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