I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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