At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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