its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
